Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
