I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
