wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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