it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize