He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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