Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love you. Go after that dick
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
