i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
