I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
