I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
