You really coming over, don't trick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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