I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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