Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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