ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
