i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
