I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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