Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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