why didn't you poke me back
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
