Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
