Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
