he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
