You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
