if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
