no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
