Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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