Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
