i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
