I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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