I faked an abortion last night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
