No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
