Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
