I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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