Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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