when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
