I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
