I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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