I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
