My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
