Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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