WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
