do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am midnight drunk by noon
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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