I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
