In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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