K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize