My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
