Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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