Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
