And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
