been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sober January is a disaster.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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