And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
