I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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