btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
