Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
