the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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