i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
