Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
