i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
