I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
