There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
