U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
