Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize