So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
