Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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