I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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