i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
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