he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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