dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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