oh god the rape fog is back!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
