Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
