You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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