It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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